planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
