I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I would fuck him just for his dog
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
