one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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