After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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