does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
