Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize