Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
