Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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