im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
