Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
