You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
