She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
