i just google imaged poop.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
