Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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