What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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