it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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