Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize