she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
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