i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
