It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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