I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
