u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
