I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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