I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
