I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
When are your genitals available?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
