everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Randomize
