Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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