can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
