listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize