Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
