a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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