you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
