just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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