at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
