I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i dont even know how to be here
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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