why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
