how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
