I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
