I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Randomize
