i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize