Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
