he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
