All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
