If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You've changed since you got that strap on
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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