Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
