Everything about him screamed your future.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize