party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
