Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
