matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
