bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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