Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.

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(951): View more from California

she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.

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(+49): View more from Germany

he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit

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(402): View more from Nebraska

He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.

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(240): View more from Maryland

A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it

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(713): View more from Texas

Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?

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(551): View more from New Jersey

I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss

(201): View more from New Jersey

Did you at least ask for a raise?

(551): View more from New Jersey

No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?

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