No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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