WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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