Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
