You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
