i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
