girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
