Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
