so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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