Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
where are my eyebrows?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
