Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
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I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
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Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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