I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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