Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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