Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
