she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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