Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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