When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
