i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
