its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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