well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
