I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
