my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
